But for a madeleine ....

Remembrance of Things Past, Proust

But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection.

A very dear friend of mine lost her dad this past week. He was 58. It was a shock to the entire family, to all of us.

I lost my own mother several years ago. I remember afterwards that it was comforting when others brought food to us, so that we had one less thing to think of as we mourned. As we tried to picked up pieces, called insurance companies, tried to carry on. As we tried to make sense of it all, when there is no sense at all.

I'm cooking for my friend today, since I don't know what else to do. I'm making a double-batch of my mom's meatballs with thick, hearty ragu. I'll freeze some baked zitis to put in my friend's mom's freezer if she wishes. I'll try to fill their stomachs to help fill the huge holes in their souls.


I lost my mom two years before I got married. During our honeymoon, I mourned losing her all over again - sadness in the midst of my immense happiness of starting a new life with Big Daddy. We honeymooned in Italy, with a stop in Florence. I ordered a dish in Florence, a wild boar ragu, that instantly brought me back to my mom's dinner table. Tears welled in my eyes, my mom's joy filled my heart. All in that taste, that experience. Just like a madeleine, I recalled from my high school literature classes.


Of all of the things that I share with my friends, I never thought that the pain of losing a parent at a young age would be one of them. I pray with all of my heart that my friend finds comfort and strength to get through these days ahead. I can only hope that a bit of food will also comfort, to soothe in forgeting for a minute and spurs memories of times past.

Ready, Set....

That's it, I'm going to do it. On Monday, I'm going to start counting points again, Weight Watchers style. I'm ready to get back in gear.

To be continued....

One Day...

The latest love of John's life is Bob the Builder. I like Bob too, for his team-oriented, can-do attitude.

A few weeks ago, Big Daddy won a Bob (doll) at a carnival game. I've never seen anyone so competitive about "Wac-a-Mole", but there was a Bob at stake!

The other day, I was trying to get John to use the potty. He said he'd go and that Bob should go with him. Sure, no problem, of course Bob can go. John wanted Bob to go on the potty too, and we all know that you have to take your pants down to go on the potty, right? Bob's pants are permanently attached to his doll-body. I tried to explain this to John, that Bob's pants are a "stays-on". My wishful, optimistic little boy looked off in the distance, replying: "Some day, Bob's pants will work Mommy, some day..."

Clothes shopping

John and I visited Old Navy to pick up a few new items for him now that the weather is getter colder. I picked up jeans in 18-24m and 2T. Got home, put most of his items in the laundry for washing and tried his jeans on. They were actually falling down his body, the 18-24m!

Apparently he has sprouted up a bit since spring but has kept about the same weight - leaving my 2 1/2 year old quite lean in the mid-section (a problem I've never seemed to have!!). We'll either have to return those or get John acquinted with the time-honored man tradition of weaning a belt.

Superlatives / continued...

As a follow-up to my post on John's affection to grandiose terms ... the flip is his response to when he sees something he doesn't like, or I mix up the words of a song, or some other unfortunate incident:


"That's not perfect".

Good-bye Bottle....

Another baby milestone. John has been down to one bottle for several months now, one daily bottle at bedtime. The warm milk was very soothing and calming and we all enjoyed snuggles, prayers and our bedtime ritual.

I was away for business last week and Big Daddy took the opportunity to wean off this last bottle. I'm very proud of him for having the courage and strength to do this while I was away!!

However, John isn't a big fan of drinking cold milk from a regular cup or a sippy cup. We're looking at other calcium sources to be sure he gets what his growing bones need.

Per one source:
Toddlers (age 1-3 years) require about 500mg of calcium each day (about 2 glasses of milk).

We're working on including a cup of yogurt, fat-free chocolate milk and hot chocolate into his diet. He already eats calcium-rich vegetable such as brocolli. And of course, the super yummy Kraft singles. Does butter have calcium? John loves butter. Just kidding - though it does remind me of the Bill Cosby skit where he decided it was nutricious to feed his kids chocolate cake for breakfast!

Hair today, gone....

We've made a bit of a habit of giving John a haircut at home. We started at the kid's salon, where they have the fancy car seats, vidoes playing on the little screens and $15 plus tip prices. As John got a little older, he began to protest more and more - trips for haircuts were becoming traumatic. So, the home cuts started. No Flowbees are involved, just a regular old hair trimmer.

Recently, Big Daddy decided to go for the buzz cut look. It's actually really handsome on him, I was so nervous at first. So -- once a week or so, we have the boys' haircut night ! Big Daddy is actually brave enough to let John cut his hair, and in turn, John lets Big Daddy cut his.

Last night was hair cut night.

We went a little short on John's hair this time..... He looks pretty darn bald.

John's comment tonight in bath (I love him):

John doesn't like his haircut. John wants to try his hair. Remember to try hair next time.

Thank goodness his hair grows fast!!! He really is absolutely adorable, but I think we'll leave it a little longer next time.

At least we'll get a week off from haircuts!