Reconnecting and connections

Reconnecting after the holiday festivities and chaos -- with my husband, my son and maybe with myself and my relationship with God. Pretty backwards, connecting AFTER the holidays, but so it is.. John, my husband and I had a grand outing to the mall this evening to pick up a winter coat for John on post-Christmas clearance. It was a good time, chasing John around the mall and sharing a coffee with Vito. Most of all, it was a connection, with the three of us just sharing time together.

Two days ago was the seventh anniversary of my mom's passing. She died way too early, before I got married and had John. I try to keep a connection with her in my daily thoughts and prayers, but that connection feels like it is fading over time. I feel guilty that I don't feel as sad as I had years ago, I feel guilty that I don't mourn as much. Time heals, but it also brings forgetfulness. I try to remember the sound of my mom's voice, the sound of her laugh, but it gets harder and harder. Memories become fuzzy and hazy as the years pass. I try to keep the family traditions going that my mom had shared with me, so that I can share my mom with John. I try to thoughtfully pray each night that my mom will watch over John from heaven. I try to keep her memory alive, but I fear that I'm losing the connection.